Why I Chose Quality over Quantity
Well hello, there! Yes…yes…I know. It’s been a while. And that’s for good reason! Since I last blogged, my family and I have relocated from the tri-state area to the Southeast. As we prepared for the change, my time and attention were diverted to those logistical concerns. With the change of scenery also came a change in roles at my job, which also warranted a greater level of mental bandwidth and energy as I acclimate to the new position.
“Now what would possess you to up and move?” one might ask. Based on the content of my earlier posts, you may think this would be all part of some plan to achieve financial freedom sooner. While this move may result in some financial benefits in the longer term, financial component was not the driver for this decision. Rather, the decision was more driven by quality of life components. In fact, our savings rate will decline for the next couple of years as a result of reduced pay without the equal reduction in expenses.
Let me explain…my wife and I used to live in a 2 bedroom condo where we both had 1.5 hour commutes to work each way on the worst days and at least one of us had that commute on the best days (usually my wife). While it was feasible (albeit not ideal) to do this while we had one child, it became an entirely different dynamic when we had child #2 and one that we didn’t think was sustainable over a significant period of time. So the question became…Do we look to move closer to our jobs in a bigger place, which could substantially increase our expenses, or relocate down south as we had been planning to do for years? Given my wife was not in love with remaining in the tri-state area any longer than necessary and we believed at some point we ultimately would still move down south, we made the decision
to relocate.
While the thought of relocating was something that we had agreed to very early on in our marriage, the decision to finally relocate was one we had been toying with for years. Given what I understood to be some of the negatives associated with moving and my focus on some of the things we’d be giving up, I had some negative beliefs about the transition. For instance, given what I knew about my job, I expected to take a pretty substantial pay cut. Also, it seemed we came to a decision point of moving, “life would happen” and we’d undergo a major transition (e.g. new job/position, new kid, etc.). And me not being very accepting of change, I generally tend to not want to shake things up too much. Thankfully, I had overcome numerous limiting beliefs I initially attributed to moving and was confident that our family would ultimately be better off on the whole.
Now…having moved a year after we started exploring our options, what is it that we gained? We went from living in a 2 bedroom condo with ~1000 sq ft to renting a 4 bedroom house with ~2700 sq ft and a 2 car garage. Our commute to our jobs dropped to 25 minute commute (without traffic), which allows for increased time flexibility. We are geographically closer to my wife’s family and long-time friends, which provides both an increased level of emotional support and trusted babysitters. The weather is warmer, which means more days at the playground for my kids, more family walks throughout the year and just more outside activity, in general. While I was reluctant to take on the position that I did given the increased level of responsibility, I find myself energized and motivated to help the individuals for which I responsible for training and developing. Who knows…I may somehow be able to pivot the experience and skill set into some sort of side hustle or business down the line. An another note, the relocation benefits and expenses taken on by my job are unparalleled as we were effectively “paid” to move…no kidding.
For those of you that I failed to convince of the merits of these move as you honed in and continue to obsess over the reduced savings rate, I understand where you’re coming from on some level as it’s the place I operated from for a couple of years before I came around. In the grand scheme of things, we haven’t given up on the ideal of financial independence. We may be a bit more delayed in achieving it, but the journey towards it will be undertaken with more optimal circumstances.
Additionally, there is significant likelihood that our expenses will drastically fall (~$4k/month) once we no longer have rent/mortgage payment and our kids enter the public school system eliminating the need for daycare. That then translates to an additional $48k/year in savings or a fairly low cost structure (less than $3k) that would need to be supported. With a leveraged rental property that throws off ~$1k/month in cash flow, we are a third the way there.
As a father and husband, I think it’s incredibly important to take a step back from time to time and reflect on the vision and goals you may have for your family. In doing this, you then should determine the how and optimize that method for the peace and sanity of your family. Mind you…I struggle with this. As a Type A personality that can be very disciplined, I am fine with “sacrificing” to achieve goals…especially when I want those goals achieved yesterday. But because of that…it’s probably good that I have a wife, who isn’t that way and may need to occasionally reel me in sometimes and remind me to live in the present (although it can be incredibly frustrating at times).
So, my lesson throughout this experience is this: if you are wise enough to shift your focus beyond the financial component of a decision and widen the lens, you may open yourself up to so much wealth and abundance that you’d have otherwise missed.